For the second night in a row I simply cannot get to closing my eyes. I don't know if it's the crazy amounts of sleep I've been packing in during my vacation or the can of soda that I always seem to want to drink with my dinner or both...it's probably both.
Yesterday, I had the lunch of champions-- The Pizza Hut Buffet (yes, every word simply deserves a capital first letter. It's that big.) I had the works, an unmentionable amount of slices of a variety of pizza, pasta, bread sticks and a pizza pie and topped it off with some caffeinated soda. Ironically, I told Adam, 'It's been so long since I've had soda, I'm already starting to feel jittery!'
Yeah, that 'jittery feeling' lasted until 2am last night...and it didn't stop there, I tossed and turned all night long. When I woke up to Ava asking for her morning drink, I simply turned over and gave Adam a polite shove off the bed and muttered 'can you do it?' and continued to sleep in until close to 10am. When I walked out of the room, messy and grouchy, Adam gave me a sweet smile and told me that he had breakfast for me. Don't I have such a sweet husband? Leave it to me to ruin the whole thing with my foul mood. When I went to make my plate, I complained about how it was cold...why couldn't I just say, 'Thank You'? I was too proud. I couldn't control myself and in the process I hurt my husband's feelings. I felt like a dipstick. But I couldn't stop there, I complained about how long it took him to wax the car. I complained when we finally made it to the beach later in the day, making snide remarks about how the shoreline isn't good enough (was I serious?). I couldn't believe how immature I was, but I couldn't stop...it was like I was a wild woman out of control. Basically I ruined the day.
In the end, I ended up making it up to Adam. I went and took a nap while he went off to band practice and when I woke up I swear I was a brand new woman. I felt so ridiculous; I couldn't believe that I let myself get so out of hand. I have made a promise to make my husband a priority and make him feel like a King, but instead I treated him like crap. How can I expect to be treated like a Queen when I don't put out the same effort. Someone once told Adam and myself, 'it's hard to not like someone that treats you well'. It is such a simple saying, but it is so true. We sometimes like to pretend like we are perfect, but we aren't. I've learned that marriage is hard and it's okay to make mistakes, it helps to mature us and become closer as a couple :)
I googled Insomnia and the first result was the picture up top. It's scary, but totally fitting. I feel like the walking dead right now (sorry for the random change in subject). There's something about being the only one awake, in a quiet house full of sleeping people, that makes you feel so creeped out. I'm gonna bottom up a glass of warm milk and try to join the ranks of my sleeping kin. Good night!
3 comments:
haha!! here's to sleeping!
and i'm in there with ya with the whole 'treating my husband better' idea. sometimes i pick out his faults too easily and am pretty verbal about it...thanks for the reminder.
you are a fantastic writer my love!
are you still on vacation? let's play.
i have no wallet so it might get tricky but maybe my husband will give me an allowance until i find it- haha!
anyway, we are both off tomorrow (after i teach my class but no office hours!) if you are up for a day of fun somewhere!
Liko- Thanks girlie! It's hard not to be verbal when something irritates me...makes me feel like I'm lying or something. ha!
Steph- Let's do it! I would totally text you this (i'll continue to try anyway), but as we all know, my cell doesnt catch at home. I feel like i've been missing something in my life lately...and I"ve figured it out, it's you! hahaha! miss you....call me when you get out of class?
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