The Mommy Zone

I was looking through an old photo album today from high school. While looking through the pictures, I couldn't help feeling a little sad. I was so toned and tan and beautiful--- believe it or not, my old nickname in high school was "Guns" (as well as Mactawoman, MacFarlane, etc...) and right now, I feel anything but. While looking through that darn photo album, I couldn't help but glance at the mirror with false hope, after practically every picture, that maybe just maybe there was still a hint of that fresh faced, gorgeous, sexy woman still in there, only to be disappointed. It seemed like with every picture, I would look up at the mirror next to me and think, "maybe, just maybe" only to realize yet again, "yup! I'm in the mommy zone". Pitiful. I think I must have done this about 20 times. No kidding.

Let me explain. I am so HAPPY to be a mother, there isn't anything wrong with being a mother. And not every mother is plush, pale, and fashion-less like myself. There's just that time in every woman's life where she just doesn't concentrate on herself, forgets herself, all just to make sure this tiny little creature is happy, healthy and just plain loved. I call that the mommy zone.

I always make these goals to go running during my lunch break, or pilates after work before the child comes home, or eat healthy. Mind you, that's usually right before I go to bed. Flash ahead to 3am in the morning. It's the 3rd time I've woken up to calm a teething baby and reality, life, fatigue and craziness crush all that hope I had around 9pm the night before. Finally 630am rolls around and I am mega tired as I try to get ready for work and get out of the house that I totally forget the promises I made to myself. The day goes by and I come home deflated that I let myself down again. You know what I do to make myself feel better? I make the same promise I made to myself the night before! I'm telling you, it's a vicious cycle.

(Here's a picture of better times. Please ignore the crazy face.)

I have the greatest husband in the world. Let me tell you why: He loves me for me! I know this because even when I have inch long hairs covering my legs and pits, acne, greasy unwashed hair, bad breath, wearing sweats and a nasty old tee-- HE STILL THINKS I'M BEAUTIFUL! Isn't that crazy?! It doesn't make sense, but its the truth. I guess the whole point of this loooonnnng blog is to say, even though you may find yourself perpetually stuck in the "mommy zone" it's not the worst thing in the world. What matters is that you have your family and surround yourself with the ones who love you. Do I still wish I was like the girl I used to look like back in high school? That is a BIG, HUGE YES! Of course we could always do with a little bit of tanness, toneness and freshness, but beauty isn't forever. What really matters is that you have your family, friends, and all those that make you happy. That's what really matters. And I feel like I have some of THE most awesomest family and THE coolest friends. I love you guys! Thanks for loving me even though I'm in the mommy zone =o)